Imposter syndrome.
We’ve all faced this. I know I have. I think… or am I lying to myself about having it?
Now, as creatives, we’re going to come up against a lot of moments when we get in our own heads. Especially as writers given how much time we spend actually in our own heads. But this applies to absolutely every creative out there. Many people will be freelancers or exploring this as a hobby, which they then turn into a career. This sits a world apart from the realm of standardised academic study. We’re not going along the given structure. School, college or A levels, university, maybe a masters or PHD, perhaps a work placement…
No, we’re often stumbling across these interests in our own time, therefore the pursuit comes from a place of internal value as opposed to extrinsic motivation. Many of us will start our creative pursuits on little or no pay. Any small payment becomes validation. Any small recognition becomes a big thing.
But then the doubt kicks in.
Do I deserve this? Am I doing enough? Am I allowed to charge this or do that? Others in my field went to study this or have an employer paying them to do this so am I doing the wrong thing?
This is the voice of doubt and it’s going to try and hold you back. You are not alone in this. The most confident people in the world have all doubted themselves at one point or another, regardless of what public perception they have crafted. Every single person alive has had a doubt.
Am I doing this right? Is the bus really going to turn up? Have I double checked that bill has been paid? Will my friend really turn up today? If I eat this curry from this back ally fastfood place am I going to myself? Is this the position or role I should be in?
Everyone has doubts. Additionally, everyone doubts that everyone has doubts.
In an office full of people the general consensus is that everyone there is an expert in their field. But if you jumped into each individual’s head and scanned it for doubts there’ll be a thought in there saying ‘am I really an expert? The others know more than me, surely.’
If you think you’re the only one who doubts themselves but then everyone else is doing the same then surely it means you’re believing a false narrative.
It’s pluralistic ignorance.
So what can we do as creatives to overcome this? I’m going to be focusing my answers on specifically writers here but this is applicable to every type of creative out there, from photographers and videographers to painters, animators, graphic designers, and yes, 100% writers.
Get Creating
This is the simplest answer to it. No one can tell you you’re not a writer if you’re… well… writing. It’s the same for photographers taking photos and videographers going out to film. I know it’s hard to do that when you believe others around you are more capable and you might even think this is an oversimplification of the issue but I promise you it’s not. Start building the foundations. Start writing.
Stephen King is classed as one of the greats when it comes to modern fiction writing but if he didn’t write then he wouldn’t be a writer. It has to start somewhere. Just start.
Re-evaluate Your Benchmark
A benchmark for success can be a huge barrier, Trust me, I know. I was gutted in the first year of running my media company when it came to light that we hadn’t made as much profit as Netflix.
That’s an international conglomerate that started decades ago.
I was just a guy with a camera and a computer in my room.
We all have to start somewhere and that journey is a marathon so lower your comparisons, aim for realistic growth, and reassess how much you can take on. Break it down into achievable steps. Don’t try to write your novel and publish it within 2 weeks. Plan ahead. If you’re writing a novel within the epic fantasy genre it’s going to have its own language, magic system, hard worldbuilding, etc… It’ll be rife with detail and it’ll also be 180,000-200,000 words long.
As a standard ballpark simply based on the conventions of the genre.
That’s going to take some time to write. So don’t set yourself the same timeline as your friend who is writing a romance novel, which tends to fall within the 50 to 90,000 word range. Take into consideration your current life and priorities. Look at where you can write. For example, Brandon Sanderson used to write during his time working a graveyard shift at a hotel. It gave him a good few hours every day to focus on writing. That’s going to get it done faster than someone like me who works 8-12 hours, sometimes more, a day and often on location so I might only get 1 or 2 hours free to write.
Maybe you work week days but your weekends are free so you get a good 8 hours for two days every week. Whatever your schedule, make your benchmark for success reflect your ability for input. If you want to write 50,000 words a year and you’ve got 8 hours a week to do it, that’s 52 lots of 8 hours totalling 416 hours. 50,000 words then becomes a much more manageable 120 words (ish) per hour or 960 words a week.
What feels less daunting to you: 50,000 words to do in a year? Or less than 1,000 words every weekend?
Everybody Poops
Everybody produces crap and that’s okay. No one has ever started doing something and immediately been the master of their craft. No one has ever, say, started making jewellery and, without any coaching or help or learning curve, been able to make the most flawless 24kt gold necklace ever seen.
It’s the same with your writing, creative. Everybody has to write that first draft so they can refine later. You can’t write a finished book without initially writing a first draft. It’s supposed to be loose and have messy bits and need toning up. Michelangelo’s statue of David was carved FROM a piece of Carrara marble. It needed to exist before he gave it shape and form and character.
And that’s what you’re going to do.
You’re going to produce a lump that will teach you to refine, define, and redesign. It’s going to teach you so many lessons and, yeah, maybe it won’t see the light of day. But you’ll gain valuable experience from doing that. It’s okay to produce crap and it’s okay to have crap days because, as I’ve said before, everyone else is doing the same thing. You’re not behind and you’re not lacking. You’re growing and teaching yourself in a way that only YOU can.
